Our backyard backs up to an alfalfa field - which I love, love, love. A little country in the big city... (well, until the mega church behind us turns it into a parking lot.
) One morning not too 
long ago, I arose early and actually got off my lazy butt to take our fluffy white thing, Rocko, for a walk. The weather was incredible, and thought to myself what a great place for a walk with the dog...among the pretty, green alfalfa. Rocko and I proceed to walk along the edge of the field, minding our own 
business, when I see a burrowing owl down the path, sitting on a fence post. I figured it would fly away as we got closer, but much to my surprise it stayed put, giving me an upclose look at a bird that we don't typically get to see. I was in such a good mood (o.k., this is embarassing, but I will tell you anyway), I even talked to the stupid bird as we walked by. I must have temporarily lost my mind and thought I was in a Disney cartoon. Anyway, the bird started sqawking and bobbing up and down, but didn't budge off of the fence post. I have to say, 
I was thinking this morning was pretty wonderful as we passed by the bird and we went along our merry way. We were a good 20 feet past the fence post when the shadow of two giant wings appeared behind the shadow of my head. BAM! The back of my head was assaulted by the wicked thing's talons. No sooner did I realize what had happened, I could see the stupid bird circling
around for another attack. This time I started running backward and flailing my arms at the same time. The bird came at us again, but thankfully, they don't like flailing arms. I thought this had to be the end of it, when it circled around again! By this time I had visions of the movie "The Birds" (Please, oh, please don't let me fall or it will peck my eyes out!). Rocko and I were running as fast as we could (okay, Rocko was trying to run, I looked more like lead-footed, forty-something, tubby woman who had lost her mind). The hateful thing dove at us again, but pulled up when I started jumping around again. Don't you wish someone had taken a video of this? The $10,000 prize for stupid home videos would have been mine for sure! Oh, but this story is not over...Of course, I couldn't go back the way we came. So we followed the perimeter of the field (the long way) to get back home. I was about 3/4 of the way home when...you guessed it...there was another stupid owl. Holy crap! Will I get out of this walk alive? I must have been dazed and confused, because instead of turning around and finding another way home (duh!), I decided to make a run for it. I was so focused on the bird while running by, that I wasn't watching the road in front of me. Next thing I know, my foot hit something slippery and sent me stumbling backward. Dang it! I must have stepped in a mud puddle! Could I be that lucky? Not on your life. I looked down and realized I stepped in a great big pile of dog poo. Loooooovely! I swear that stupid bird started laughing at me. I spent the rest of our little outing walking, while simultaneously rubbing and moving my foot around in the dirt trying to get as much of that offending substance off my shoe. Again, this would have made great video. Moral of the story: Don't go into the corn!...er....alfalfa!
long ago, I arose early and actually got off my lazy butt to take our fluffy white thing, Rocko, for a walk. The weather was incredible, and thought to myself what a great place for a walk with the dog...among the pretty, green alfalfa. Rocko and I proceed to walk along the edge of the field, minding our own 
business, when I see a burrowing owl down the path, sitting on a fence post. I figured it would fly away as we got closer, but much to my surprise it stayed put, giving me an upclose look at a bird that we don't typically get to see. I was in such a good mood (o.k., this is embarassing, but I will tell you anyway), I even talked to the stupid bird as we walked by. I must have temporarily lost my mind and thought I was in a Disney cartoon. Anyway, the bird started sqawking and bobbing up and down, but didn't budge off of the fence post. I have to say, 
I was thinking this morning was pretty wonderful as we passed by the bird and we went along our merry way. We were a good 20 feet past the fence post when the shadow of two giant wings appeared behind the shadow of my head. BAM! The back of my head was assaulted by the wicked thing's talons. No sooner did I realize what had happened, I could see the stupid bird circling
around for another attack. This time I started running backward and flailing my arms at the same time. The bird came at us again, but thankfully, they don't like flailing arms. I thought this had to be the end of it, when it circled around again! By this time I had visions of the movie "The Birds" (Please, oh, please don't let me fall or it will peck my eyes out!). Rocko and I were running as fast as we could (okay, Rocko was trying to run, I looked more like lead-footed, forty-something, tubby woman who had lost her mind). The hateful thing dove at us again, but pulled up when I started jumping around again. Don't you wish someone had taken a video of this? The $10,000 prize for stupid home videos would have been mine for sure! Oh, but this story is not over...Of course, I couldn't go back the way we came. So we followed the perimeter of the field (the long way) to get back home. I was about 3/4 of the way home when...you guessed it...there was another stupid owl. Holy crap! Will I get out of this walk alive? I must have been dazed and confused, because instead of turning around and finding another way home (duh!), I decided to make a run for it. I was so focused on the bird while running by, that I wasn't watching the road in front of me. Next thing I know, my foot hit something slippery and sent me stumbling backward. Dang it! I must have stepped in a mud puddle! Could I be that lucky? Not on your life. I looked down and realized I stepped in a great big pile of dog poo. Loooooovely! I swear that stupid bird started laughing at me. I spent the rest of our little outing walking, while simultaneously rubbing and moving my foot around in the dirt trying to get as much of that offending substance off my shoe. Again, this would have made great video. Moral of the story: Don't go into the corn!...er....alfalfa!
5 comments:
Yep....that story was just as funny now as the other night when I got to watch you tell it too me...glad you didn't get lice from the owl. :)
Great visualizations written into that by the way. But tell Scott to video your walk next time, then the $10,000 will be yours!
Did you ever think it may have been your political leanings or karma from the treatment of your younger bro?LOL
Did you ever think it may have been your political leanings or karma from the treatment of your younger bro?LOL
OH my GOSH! that is crazy! and kinda scary! OY! you told it so well!
love your blog! i didn't know you had one. yay! thanks for the comment! it was so fun meeting you!
okay I have to say I haven't laughed that hard at a blog in a while...I can't believe the owl attacked you...you are right you could be spending 10K if someone had taped that.
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